Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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