The maid of honor just puked.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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