even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize