I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
