so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
