Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
