You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
