"it" just moved
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
