I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
