As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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