Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize