I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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