Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
