someone owes me an orgasm
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
