You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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