he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
