your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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