Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
