haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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