I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize