apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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