My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
