Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
