Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
