weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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