There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize