At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
