his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
