This girl is more easily done than said...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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