Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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