I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
