I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
