I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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