did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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