is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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