He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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