I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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