Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
