I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
