doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
