That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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