Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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