he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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