Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
