You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
