I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
