just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
