Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
