dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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