508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
