I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
