That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
