i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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