i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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