in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
