Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
